It can be easy to let your sex life fall by the wayside, especially after a long term marriage or relationship. Kids, careers, and life in general seem to get in the way, and at the end of a long day, the last thing you want to do is be intimate, especially when you could be using that time to sleep instead. Don’t worry, your sex life doesn’t necessarily have to be doomed. Here, we discuss ways to make sex feel less like a chore.
Sex. When people initially get into marriages or long term relationships, they don’t think about the fact that their sex lives might potentially suffer. However it happens often to a lot of couples.
Chore. First things first, you have to change your mindset. Categorizing sex with the rest of your chores is only going to make you think that its something you have to do as opposed to something you should want to do.
Talk. Perhaps you’ve both thought about how your sex life could use some rekindling, yet no one wants to bring it up. It’ll take one person to swallow their pride and address the issue, otherwise you’ll solve nothing.
Sex toys. Sometimes it just takes a little excitement in the bedroom to get things going again. Try experimenting with a sex toy to heat things up in the bedroom again.
Places. Try having sex in unlikely places. Ditch your boring gray sheets and get down and dirty in the kitchen or on top of the dryer. This will surely take the boring out of your sex life. Make a bucket list of new places to try out so you both have something to look forward to for the next time around!
Role playing. Rather than look for sex in someone else — pretend to be someone else. Buy a wig or different costumes and pretend like you are engaging in a forbidden romance.
Sexting. If things have been a little dull lately, surprise your partner by sending him a naughty text or picture so he was something to look forward to throughout the entire day.
Special guests. If you’re feeling really adventurous, seek out a potential third (or fourth) guest to give you that extra push you might need in the bedroom. Even if it’s a bad experience, at least you’ll both have something to laugh about.
Time. Figure out your priorities, and try to work out some time so that neither you or your partner will be “too tired” to have sex.
Spontaneous. Planning ahead to have sex isn’t exactly the sexiest, and while it can work for most couples, a little spontaneity every once in a while might be good for your relationship.
Relax. Stay in bed a little longer after sex. The extra few minutes or relaxation will be another reason to want to get intimate with your partner, and you’ll consider sex a relaxing activity rather than a tedious chore.
Apart. Spend some time apart. While this might seem contradictory, sex after having spent some time apart will be that much better after you’ve been missing each other.
Compare. The worst thing you can do is compare your relationship to other people’s. While you might think that your friends are sleeping with their partners on a regular basis, things might actually be different behind closed doors.
Patience. If your partner is genuinely stressed out with the pressures of life, try to be patient with them rather than berate them for not wanting to sleep with you.
Date. Get to know each other all over again.Try to remember what it was that made you fall for that person in the first place, and rekindle your relationship in that way.